• Do you feel nervous around your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or spouse?
• Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid their anger?
• Do you feel pressured by them when it comes to sex?
• Are you scared of disagreeing with them?
• Do they criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
• Are they always checking up or questioning you about what you do without them?
• Do they repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing or flirting with other people?
• Do they tell you that if you changed they wouldn’t abuse you?
• Does their jealousy stop you from seeing friends or family?
• Do they make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?
• Have they ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
• Do you often do things to please them, rather than to please yourself?
• Do they prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?
• Do you feel that, with them, nothing you do is ever good enough?
• Do they say that they will kill or hurt them self if you break up with them?

Adapted from http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/checklist.htm